Once again I am here, and once again I do not know why. Much has happened, and I have come to some very powerful revelations; not all of them positive. With all likelihood, after today you will not hear from me for quite some time; there is too much to be done now, and not nearly enough time to do it in. But first, I must go back and start from the beginning....


We tried so very hard to pursue the Dream; indeed I had high hopes that we would be successful up until the very end. Surely, given everything we have endured--all of our losses, our disappointments, our failures--surely that would count for something. But it just goes to show you that sometimes, life just doesn't go as you expect....

Once again, I have tried to bring life to our dying dream, a dream I now realize is futile. We simply lost too much time; the dream me and Vion once shared is truly dead, and it is time to move on. For what it's worth, we gave it our best; unfortunately the dream was never realistically possible to begin with. Even if it were feasibly possible to do it as we had initally thought we would so long ago, and I assure you that it is not, we cannot do it alone; only if we work together would we even have a chance at so grand an idea. Since I know that this will never happen, it's time to do something a little more viable, i.e. something that stands a fair chance of being able to be completed in my lifetime....

For the upteenth time I have tried to create a viable project using Dim3; and for the upteenth time I have failed. I had hoped to create a kick-ass sprite game, but although I remain fully convinced that Dim3 is capable of such an endeavor, it would be so monumentally difficult that it just isn't worth doing. Unfortunately, with our systems abilities not only not quite up to the task but actually downgraded due to the fact that we had to replace our former video card with one of far lesser quality, a 3D game project of any sort just was not possible, nor has it been since Dim3's inception. Things were looking pretty bleak....

Until now....

As of this writing, a few things have become truly known to me. First and formost, that merely having a dream is not enough; you have to have a plan on how to get there. Some things just aren't possible no matter how hard you try or how much you want them; that's just life. Me and Vion wanted the ultimate experience, but we lacked answers to many, many questions. We were just dreamers back then, and assumed that whatever we wanted would someday come to pass, somehow.

I realize that a game of the sort we wanted to create just isn't feasible for more reasons than I can count, but the number one reason is simply time. It takes most game companies a small legion of developers and programmers to make a commercial game, and usually that can take 3 to 5 years, if not longer. I am a single person, with very limited resources. So if it takes the professionals 3 to 5 years, how much longer would it take me?

Suffice it to say, too long; I'd be long dead before I even got remotely close.

The second thing I have realized is just how important morale is. And that is where I must say that I owe my wife and her father a debt that I can never repay. Her father is the one who supplies us with the means to have a system capable of things that few wold think possible, but it is Sa'in who picks me up and says I should keep going, that I can do it, no matter how many times I fail. Without her support and encouragement, I would have given up a long, long time ago. I don't deserve her, but if anyone thinks to take her from me, I dare you to try; you'll be dead a thousand times over before it even crosses your mind that maybe that wasn't such a good idea after all....

I have pursued this dream for as long as I can remember, and now I can finally say that I can do this! We've been given a new video card, and after installing it the lag, while still present, is quite inconsequential compared to what it was. Even Samus doesn't slow things down to a crawl like she used to; before it was quite slow even with only one other Samus, now I've been able to have at least 4 or 5!

Long story short, I am abandoning the sprites, and going back to 3D. I plan to work on my old idea I had with that Shadow Assassin concept I had; with that and perhaps a small scale Metroid type game (think something along the lines of the multiplayer mode in Metroid Prime 2, only this one hopefully won't suck!); I will be quite busy indeed. I am also going to implement my sprite game idea, only with 3D models.


Hold on to your dreams, sometimes they are all we have. Perhaps it may not come as you imagine, but if you are willing to work within whatever limitations you end up with, chances are you'll come up with something....

To my darling Sa'in, I can never repay you for everything you've done for me. You are everything I've ever wanted, and so much more. I love you!


And here's to Vion, for the Dream, and to all that have influenced this great journey, both friend and foe alike. This one's for you....


Until next time, remember these words, that a wise person once told me:

"Whether you believe you can, or believe you can't, you're right."



signed,


The Lord of Illusion